Unlock the Power: Mastering the Pronoun ‘Them’ Usage!

The world of language evolves, and inclusive communication stands at its forefront. Understanding the proper use of prounoun them requires a mindful approach, benefiting individuals seeking respectful language practices. Organizations committed to diversity and inclusion, such as GLAAD, offer valuable resources. Proper prounoun them use empowers these practices for all. For resources on proper pronoun usage, The National Center for Transgender Equality offers guides for people who want to learn to respect gender identities. Together, we can learn to be more respectful and accurate with prounoun them.

They/Them Pronouns Explained

Image taken from the YouTube channel Lynn Saga , from the video titled They/Them Pronouns Explained .

Unlock the Power: Mastering the Pronoun ‘Them’ Usage!

The pronoun "them" can feel a little tricky sometimes, but with a clear understanding of its various uses, you can confidently integrate it into your writing and conversations. This guide breaks down the most common and important aspects of "them" to help you master its usage.

Understanding the Basics of ‘Them’

First, let’s clarify the fundamental role of "them". It’s essentially a pronoun that stands in for nouns – specifically, nouns that refer to people or things in the plural. Think of it as a shortcut that avoids repetitive naming.

‘Them’ as an Object Pronoun

The most common usage is as an object pronoun. This means "them" receives the action of the verb. It answers the question "to whom?" or "for whom?"

  • Example: I gave the books to them. (To whom did you give the books? Them.*)
  • Example: He’s going to call them later. (Whom is he going to call? Them.)

‘Them’ After Prepositions

Just like other object pronouns, "them" is used after prepositions like "to," "for," "with," "by," "about," etc.

  • Example: The decision was made by them*.
  • Example: I’m going to go with them to the concert.
  • Example: This gift is for them.

‘Them’ in Gender-Neutral Contexts

This is where understanding "them" becomes particularly important. "Them" is increasingly used as a singular, gender-neutral pronoun. This is often used to refer to a person whose gender identity is non-binary or when their gender is unknown or irrelevant.

Understanding Singular ‘Them’

The use of "them" as a singular pronoun is a developing area of language, and acceptance is growing. It’s crucial to use it respectfully and consistently.

  • Example: Each student should bring their own lunch. If they forget, they can buy one in the cafeteria. (Referring to each individual student.)
  • Example: My friend is coming to visit. They are arriving tomorrow. (My friend identifies as non-binary.)*
  • Example: Someone left their umbrella in the office. I hope they come back for it. (You don’t know the gender of the person.)*

Why Use Singular ‘Them’?

Using "them" in these contexts shows respect and inclusivity. It avoids making assumptions about someone’s gender and acknowledges the diversity of gender identities. It’s also useful when gender information is unknown or unnecessary.

Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Even with a good understanding, mistakes can happen. Here are some common pitfalls and how to steer clear of them.

Subject-Verb Agreement

Even though "them" is usually plural, when used as a singular pronoun, remember that you need to adjust the verb. It can be tricky but consider the subject you are referring to with ‘them’ and use the verb tense/conjugation that best makes sense.

Correct: Incorrect: Explanation:
They are happy. They is happy. ‘Them’, even singular, often use plural verb forms.
Someone lost their phone. They hope to find it again soon. Someone lost their phone. They hopes to find it again soon. When using singular ‘them’, the verb should still align with the subject’s intention.

Confusion with Other Pronouns

Sometimes, it’s easy to confuse "them" with other pronouns like "they," "him," or "her." Double-check your sentence to ensure you’ve chosen the correct pronoun based on the context and the subject you’re referencing. If you’re referring to multiple people, or a person that uses them/they pronouns, "them" is probably the right choice!

Practice Makes Perfect: Examples and Exercises

The best way to solidify your understanding is to practice. Here are a few examples and exercises to get you started.

Sentence Completion

Fill in the blank with the correct pronoun ("them," "they," "him," "her," etc.):

  1. I saw Sarah and Michael at the store. I waved to _____.
  2. The teacher asked the students to hand in _____ papers.
  3. My neighbor is a writer. _____ just published a new book.
  4. If anyone calls, tell _____ I’m out.

Rewrite the Sentences

Rewrite these sentences using "them" as a singular, gender-neutral pronoun:

  1. Each student should bring his or her own lunch.
  2. If a customer has a complaint, he or she should contact customer service.

By understanding the nuances of "them," you can communicate more effectively, respectfully, and accurately.

FAQs: Mastering ‘Them’ Usage

This FAQ section addresses common questions about using the pronoun ‘them’ effectively. We aim to clarify its usage and help you confidently incorporate it into your writing and speech.

What does ‘them’ refer to as a personal pronoun?

‘Them’ serves as the objective (object of a verb or preposition) and reflexive (indirect object) form of the third-person plural pronoun. It’s used when referring to multiple people, animals, or things you’ve already mentioned or that are understood in context. Correct usage of the prounoun them is important for clear communication.

Can ‘them’ be used as a singular pronoun?

Yes, ‘them’ can be used as a singular pronoun to refer to an individual when their gender is unknown, irrelevant, or non-binary. This usage promotes inclusivity and avoids making assumptions about someone’s gender identity. The pronoun them allows for respectful language.

How does subject-verb agreement work with ‘them’?

When ‘them’ refers to a plural subject, use plural verbs. When used as a singular pronoun referring to one individual, still use plural verb forms. The pronoun them takes the plural verb form, even as singular.

What’s the difference between ‘them’, ‘they’, and ‘their’?

‘Them’ is the objective/reflexive pronoun, used as an object of a verb or preposition. ‘They’ is the subject pronoun, used to perform the action. ‘Their’ is the possessive pronoun, showing ownership. All three, they, them, and their are forms of the same pronoun that are used in different ways.

So there you have it! Hopefully, you now feel a bit more confident navigating the nuances of prounoun them. It’s all about respect and continuous learning, so keep practicing and stay curious!

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